This morning I was singing in choir at New Life Church and happened to look over at one of our guitarists (who happens to have a beautiful voice and major gift in worship) and noticed her shoes. Now this is a slender young woman with cute jeans on with them. They looked like this:
All of the sudden, this rush of emotion came over me… no more heels. I guess I should share some background. When Jeremy and I met, I worked for the Federal Government at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. I made decent money, had my own two bedroom apartment and wore pant-suits with heels everyday. I would wake up, work out at the gym, straighten my hair, put on my MAC makeup and wear my high heels. I had different colors and styles. I had my independence. Praise the Lord, He radically changed my life! Because He loves me so much, He began to strip away my independence one layer at a time. First, it was getting rid of over half of my belongings to fit into Jeremy’s shoe-box attic apartment. Next, I totaled my Honda Civic and got a CRV. Then, I got pregnant… and was on bed-rest starting at 13 weeks. By the end of the pregnancy I understood what God was doing but, I fought it the whole way! Last year we sold my CRV – the last thing in my name and donated the money. Doing that filled us with such joy! Now we are selling all of our belongings to serve Jesus and I am surprised how it still effects me.
I guess the rush of emotion when I saw those heels was looking at my former life for a moment, knowing that there’s no turning back now. I will not be wearing the cute shoes and outfits I used to because there will be no need. My new shoes will look something like this:
I told Jeremy about this on one of our car rides today and he could relate instantly. He began to share the rush of emotion he felt watching his father walk out the door to go snow-shoeing this morning (something they do up north, basically a walk but, you wear these special snow shoes so you don’t “fall into the snow”). They look like this (Jeremy’s high heels):
He had a longing in his heart to go with his father. He looked over his shoulder at the life we could have. You know, the one where we have a big beautiful house in Maine. Jeremy goes fishing or hunting every weekend. We take the girls on hikes with their Pepere. We have these moments pretty often right now with a keen understanding of what we are giving up. It is not just our stuff, it is our lives. We quickly snap our heads forward and look intently toward the prize of eternal life. Our prayer is that God will gather up all we have to offer Him and use it toward His Glory.
How beautiful on the mountains
are the feet of those who bring good news,
who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings,
who proclaim salvation,
who say to Zion,
“Your God reigns!”
New International Version (NIV)