“Excuse me DADDY”

I have always cringed when people call God “Daddy”.  I just felt like it was an over-simplified, hippy-Christian name for God.  I thought there had to be so many more complex aspects of His character that were just waiting to be discovered.  I also had issues with the idea of being “drunk in the Spirit” or “high on Jesus”.  I grew up with parents who love Jesus so much but, in the 1960’s where everyone was getting high on something, my Dad was playing sports and being a good kid.  I guess I adopted that mindset from my Dad and applied it the wrong way to my faith.  “God is God not a Daddy! You Hippie Christian Freaks!” So, now you know how judgmental I’ve been in my heart.  Pretty gross. I have been humbled though.  God has shown me that He is my Daddy.  My DADDY.  I have been blessed to have a great earthly Father who taught me about Jesus, values, my value, hard work, beauty, poetry, music, life.  Just a really great Dad.  I am fortunate because despite his flaws, he gave me core pieces to the puzzle of my Heavenly Father.  I know folks to didn’t have that and it is more difficult to form an understanding of God’s Character from nothing.  Anyway, I have been learning the last 6 months or so how to worship Him.  I have been a singer as long as I can remember.  Folks would talk about how touched they were when I sang but, I didn’t really know what that meant other than I did a good job.  I was originally (15 years ago) a music major and enjoyed my studies.  I didn’t have the best voice and wasn’t the best flutist but, good enough that I could have taught.  I did learn that music communicates with everyone, no matter what language.  After years of wandering around and eventually entering the Army as a medic, I was still singing but not quite worshipping.  I don’t know who reading this has worshipped God and felt His presence so heavily that you couldn’t move or couldn’t help moving.  The Holy Spirit was in control.  I had only experienced that a few times and it wasn’t because I was seeking God, just because I was in the right place at the right time.  For about five years now, I have been earnestly seeking God and His presence in my life.  It began with reading my Bible regularly and going to church.  Next, I had to be obedient to what He was saying in the Bible.  Not as easy as I thought but, I was determined.  Then some giant leaps of faith, major humbling, and then worship.  When we were in Kona, worship changed a bit for me.  I believe that was a time of huge conviction for me and tastes of what was to come.  I was able to just sit with Jesus for short periods of time.  It was cool but, I wanted this daily.  After returning there was deep healing of huge wounds and more babies.  Almost a year ago, worship started to change for good.  I am not talking about just on Sunday mornings or on a women’s retreat.  I am talking daily.  We have heard to do everything as if we are doing it unto the Lord but, I turned my affections towards God while changing a diaper.  I turned my affections towards Him when my husband was sick.  It was a little bit at a time and boy! Have I failed over and over!  I kept getting back on the horse and loving Him through all of the little things.  It was worship.  “But I want to sing Lord!”  My friends at MLG Church will tell you how many times I have tried to be a part of the worship team only to have my whole family get sick for months.  I had to see where God wanted me to worship first.  Then something kind of cool happened.  Jeremy told me he wanted me to start leading the kids in worship everyday.  At first, I wasn’t totally happy with that.  Not because I don’t want to worship with my kids but because Jeremy wanted me to fully open up in worship in front of my kids.  This is something I only did alone with God.  For example, I would wait for Jeremy to go downstairs for work (he works from home in our basement) and then crank up the music for about 30 minutes before getting my kids up in the morning.  It was a “great” routine.  Get up, read Bible for an hour, dismiss my husband so I could privately worship God.  Wow, I just read that and it is gross!!  Every now and then, Jeremy would forget his coffee or something and come back up right in that moment where I would be lost completely in worship. I mean, arms flailing around while I dance in the most ridiculous way possible in front of God – you realize your husband is standing there and nearly jump through the ceiling as you scramble to pause that song until he is gone.  Yeah. AWKWARD. So, you can imagine my discomfort in opening up that worship time to the public.  Well, I had made a decision months before to submit to Jeremy in everything as I would to the Lord.  I started worshipping openly with the kids.  They could color, dance or sing while I worshipped in the living room.  That grew and now, we have worship music on basically all of the time or someone preaching (Heidi Baker is my fav right now).  All day long I am connected with God is a tangible way.  It isn’t the act of having music on in the background while I cook that connects me to Him but rather, the conversation that is always going on between us.  He tells me that my friend needs prayer before they ask and my husband could really need food and why my toddlers are crazy that day.  So, after years of resistance, I am one of those hippy christian freaks because I learned that God is my DADDY.  As I watch my children run to Jeremy when he arrives up from work.  They swarm around him, filled with excitement to share the stories of their day or just to receive a Daddy-hug.  I can see a glimpse of the joy God has in me when I approach Him as a daughter just wanting a loving touch from her DADDY.  He always touches me with His love too.  Always.  My fears of what others will think or say at my ridiculous flailing worship all melt away at my DADDY’s feet.  I am there for Him anyway.  My oldest daughter is always saying to Jeremy “Excuse me Daddy”.  There are four other little ones vying for Jeremy’s attention but, Emilia has no problem asking above the crowd for his affection.  I am learning to do that.

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